Why Every Holiday Feels As Scary As Halloween

Written by Rae Thomas

The Ozempic trend has diet culture back on the forefront like the 90’s all over again. 

I realize the societal pressures to control and manage our bodies never really went away, but holy sh*t someone turned the volume up.

Disclaimer here: Ozempic and similar weight loss drugs can be a helpful tool especially for those with life altering medical conditions.

But uh… unless you’re totally checked out from popular culture (if you are, good for you!) you know a good chunk of people are not using these drugs for this purpose. It’s become just one more tactic to convince us our bodies are bad, need to change, and can only be changed by taking this shiny new thing.

And with this comes the good food/bad food talks. The hyper focus on nutrient packed foods and protein infused chips. Why do chips need to have protein in them?!

Listen, I’m all for making sure our bodies get what they need, but that doesn’t mean we have to abandon all the wonderful things we want. This all feels especially salient as we head into holiday season with holiday foods. Cookies, pie, and deep fried turkey - oh my. The return of the food police can me feel like my favorite holiday treats are goblins and ghouls hiding in every corner.

I’ve been in recovery from an eating disorder for 13 years. Trust when I say I have worked HARD to find balance with food.

For a long time holiday foods were just simply off limits. Too scary to face. Flashback to the Christmas where I had an entirely separate meal than the rest of my family 😔

I’ve come a long way, holiday foods are honestly just food eaten on a holiday now. No moral judgements. No post meal panic. Man it took a lot to get here though.

It’s a tough journey whether you’ve found yourself in the eating disorder camp or not.

See paragraph above, the diet culture pressures are REAL for all of us!

If you see the holidays meals approaching and feel just as scared as you were on Halloween… this one's for you boo.

What the f*ck to do when holiday meals feel scary:

1. Tune back into your values. How can you show up during the holiday meal in a way that honors your values? Adventure: try new foods you haven’t before. Relationships: focus on the sharing aspect of this meal. Compassion: make some time to take a few deep breaths during the meal if you get overwhelmed. Growth: learn to make a new recipe. You get the idea.
2. Focus on the foods you actually enjoy. Three corn casserole is one of the best things to come out of my time in Nebraska (beside my partner, friends, education, etc. lol). Diet culture hates this food. I love this food. When the voice pops up about this or that ‘not good’ bullshit, I tune in to the flavors and textures of the foods I love most. I imagine how I would describe this food to someone who has never had it before and that typically helps to tune out the other stuff.
3. Listen to your body, not your brain. Because we (as a society) typically only allow ourselves to eat holiday foods on a holiday, there’s a tendency to eat to ‘so full I can’t move need a nap and a heating pad’ level. If fullness of that type feels ok for you, DO IT! Seriously! There is nothing wrong with being super full! For me, that’s a sure fire way to trigger some nasty thoughts in my brain. I’ve found I get to be most present and enjoy holiday meals most when I’m tuned into my fullness level pause when I’m feeling satisfied. The Intuitive Eating Guide is a great tool for practicing this. And it tends to be easier when you embrace leftovers and allow yourself to eat holiday foods on just regular days. Restriction mindset never helped nobody.
4. Surround yourself with food positive people. This is when choosing where you sit at the table really matters. If you know Aunt Debbie Downer is going to spend the whole meal talking about how she’s going to need to do XYZ diet after this because “oh my god this is so bad and so good”, can we like not sit next to her? If it’s unavoidable, try to come ready with some conversation starters or pivots. Finally, enlist some supports if you’ve got them! Maybe your cousin has also bitched to you about Aunt Debbie’s wild comments, give them a text the day before and say you just can’t this year and want their help pivoting the convo. Better yet, make it a game, who can successfully pivot the conversation most in the night?
5. Plan some holiday enjoyment beyond the meal. If you are still dreading the meal, make sure you’ve got something you’re looking forward to for that day. Card game tournament amongst the fam. Post dinner gossip session (healthy? not always. fun? definitely.) Cousin is bring their new puppy. Debuting an adorable new sweater. Silence in the car ride home. It doesn’t have to be a big thing, it just has to be something.

I’m not the first person to write about coping with holiday meals.

There’s probably dozens more good tips out there, so go find what works for you and leave the rest.

You deserve to enjoy this season.

You deserve to enjoy every season.

You are allowed to eat all the foods.

You are allowed to leave the Halloween scaries in the past 😘