There’s this thing we’re all quietly chasing, whether we name it or not: wholeness.
Not perfection. Not constant happiness. Not “I have it all together.” But wholeness, the radical permission to bring all of yourself to the table. Even the messy, complicated, too-much parts.
In this episode of If You Have Feelings, we sat down with Darleene "Dee" Peters, a practicing attorney, certified Health & Wellness Coach, certified Nutrition Coach, and deeply reflective human, to talk about what it actually means to feel whole.
Spoiler: it’s not something you earn, it’s something you reclaim.
The Myth of “Getting There”
From a young age, many of us are taught that we have to achieve our way into worthiness. Check the boxes. Be good. Don’t take up too much space. Smile when you're hurting. Succeed at the cost of your sanity.
We internalize the idea that if we just work hard enough, we’ll finally feel like we’re enough.
But what happens when you do everything “right” and still feel like something’s missing?
Darleene names what many of us struggle to articulate: that we can spend our whole lives trying to prove our value instead of learning to believe it already exists.
Wholeness isn’t found in the next milestone. It’s found in the moments you allow yourself to soften, even when everything in you wants to brace. It’s found when you say, “This is me,” and stop waiting for the world to validate your existence.
The Wholeness of AND
One of the most powerful truths we explored? The idea that wholeness holds all of you.
You can be grateful for your life… and still want more.
You can love your family… and feel the need to set boundaries.
You can be strong… and ask for help.
You can be healing… and still feel broken sometimes.
So often, we’re taught to live in either/or. Either you’re okay, or you’re not. Either you’re thriving, or you’re failing. But being whole means living in the tension of both. It means welcoming the full spectrum of your human experience without shame.
Wholeness is a Practice, Not a Destination
Feeling whole doesn’t mean you never have hard days. It doesn’t mean you don’t still wrestle with doubt, fear, or sadness.
It means you let yourself come home to your body. You notice what’s rising in you. You stop abandoning yourself when things get hard.
It means saying:
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I get to take up space.
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I’m allowed to be seen.
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My needs are not too much.
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I don’t need to be fixed; I need to be held.
This is why tools like the Feelings Wheel and Needs Wheel exist. They’re not just cute visuals. They’re invitations... to pause, to notice, to name what’s happening inside without judgment.
What If You Already Are?
If you’re reading this, wondering if you’re allowed to feel whole, this is your permission slip.
You already are. Even if you don’t feel it every day. Even if you’re still unlearning everything that taught you otherwise.
Wholeness isn’t about being finished. It’s about being real. And you, exactly as you are, are worthy of being seen, known, and loved.
Let’s stop chasing wholeness and start practicing it.
You with us?
About Darleene "Dee" Peters
Darleene (she/her) has been a practicing civil defense attorney for almost 27 years. In 1998, she simultaneously earned her Juris Doctor and Master of Business Administration degrees from Loyola University College of Law and College of Business in New Orleans.
She is currently a Partner and the Chairperson of the Diversity, Equity & Inclusion Committee at the law firm of Irwin Fritchie Urquhart Moore & Daniels, which has offices in New Orleans and Baton Rouge, LA.
When she began working at the firm, she was its first ever African American Attorney. In 2022, she became its first African American female partner.
She represents manufacturers of consumer products, pharmaceuticals, and medical devices in Products Liability matters, Railroad Corporations in accidents and employee lawsuits, and other corporations in environmental and occupational disease hazard cases.
She is also double certified in Health and Wellness Coaching and Nutrition Coaching. She is the Founder and CEO of Deep Wellness NOLA, her own holistic health and wellness coaching company, where she focuses on serving as a resource for addressing health, wellness, and lifestyle issues from a holistic perspective. She has a special interest and passion for addressing the challenges facing legal professionals.
Darleene serves as a Wellness Consultant, Speaker, and Writer for various legal associations, organizations, and law firms and is committed to improving the Health and Well-Being of her all who have an open mind, ear, and heart for the wellness wisdom she shares, especially her fellow legal professionals.
Follow @deepwellnessnola on Instagram or connect with her on LinkedIn.
