Written by Kajsa Nikole Whitney
Sometimes I look at the Feelings Found tools (especially the new Kids Wheel) and I don’t just feel proud. I feel grief.
Grief for the kid I was. The one who didn’t know how to explain why she was upset, so she just shut down. The one who learned to smile through discomfort, to ignore the tightness in her chest, to mistake anxiety for personality. The one who didn’t know that feelings were information. Not flaws.
I think a lot about what might have been different if I had been given a tool to help me name and explore my emotions. A wheel that says, “Hey, you’re not too much. You’re just a human having a feeling.” A reminder that I didn’t need to get it perfect. I just needed to get it out.
What I Needed (That I Didn’t Get)
I needed someone to tell me that being sensitive wasn’t a weakness.
That anger had a purpose.
That crying didn’t mean I was broken.
But I didn’t grow up with emotional vocabulary. I grew up with “you’re fine,” “calm down,” and “stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about.” Sound familiar?
So I became an emotional contortionist (bending, shrinking, adapting) to be who people needed me to be. And somewhere along the way, I lost the thread of who I was and what I needed.
The Kids Wheel I Wish Existed Then
That’s why The Kids Wheel matters so damn much.
It’s not just cute. It’s not just helpful. It’s revolutionary.
It gives kids the language I never had. It helps them point to a feeling and say, “That. That’s me right now.” It opens up the kind of conversations that can change the trajectory of someone’s life. Not because it’s a magic fix, but because it says, your feelings are real, and you’re safe to name them.
If I had that as a kid? I think I would’ve trusted myself more. I would’ve learned to self-soothe instead of self-abandon. I wouldn’t have spent so many years confusing emotional suppression for strength.
Looking Ahead: My Kids Will Know
Here’s the thing: I can’t go back in time and hand this tool to my younger self. But I can make damn sure the next generation grows up differently.
When I have kids of my own, emotional wellbeing will be part of their daily routine… not an afterthought or something we only talk about when someone has a meltdown. We’ll use The Kids Wheel at breakfast. We’ll check in before bed. We’ll normalize naming what’s happening inside instead of stuffing it down.
Because I want my kids to grow up with tools I didn’t have. I want them to know that being emotional isn’t something to hide. It’s something to honor.
And maybe, just maybe, one day they’ll look back and say, “I always felt safe to feel.”
Final Thought
If you’re reading this and thinking, “Damn, me too”… you’re not alone. So many of us are parenting ourselves while parenting (or planning to parent) others. It’s not easy. But it’s worth it.
Every time we choose emotional honesty, we’re breaking cycles. We’re creating safety. We’re building a future where kids don’t just survive their feelings; they understand them.
And I can’t think of a better gift than that.
