Written by Rae Thomas
Admittedly I haven’t watched Severance. Apple TV hasn’t made it on the shortlist of streaming subs I allow myself. But the premise really gets me.
The idea that we can and should fully detach our personal selves from our work selves. Each should exist in its own silo. One never impacting the other.
I get it, in theory.
More productivity at work. Being more present at home. This obviously isn’t practical (or even remotely realistic). We can’t just ‘turn off’ a part of our brains (if we could, I likely wouldn’t have a job as a therapist!).
No matter how much compartmentalizing you practice, a sh*t day at home is going to make your day at work harder (and vice versa). But that also means a fulfilling and relaxing weekend at home is likely going to make your Monday a little easier.
Feelings are the glitter of our internal world. If it exists, it’s going to end up f*cking EVERYWHERE.
We can take steps to manage it, wash our hands, use special tools to get the loose glitter back in the bottle, but inevitably you will find one lone sparkle on your earlobe a week later.
Pretending feelings don’t exist at work is like trying to ignore the lone sparkle that your boss has on the tip of their nose while they are trying to have a serious conversation about Q1 metrics. Sure sure, you can take in the info they’re saying, but man… that sparkle is at the perfect angle to catch the light. Where do you think it came from? Is anyone going to tell them its there? Does anyone else see this?
Feelings are at work, whether you want them to be or not. Talking about those feelings matters. Addressing those feelings in a work setting is the tool to stop the glitter from covering every inch of everything you touch. And instead only adding it to the places that could use a little extra something.
What this doesn’t mean…
- giving someone the day off every time they have a bad day
- sugar coating feedback because it might hurt their feelings
- spending whole meetings talking about someones personal crisis
- making everyone happy
- sacrificing productivity or goals
What this does mean…
- quick personal check ins so you have context when susie’s slack message is extra short
- knowing your teams personal and professional values
- people doing the tasks that bring them the most joy and thus do a better job
- open and honest conversations when conflict inevitably arises
There’s more to these lists of course. But I’m hoping you get the idea.
You can work with all feelings without completing changing how you work. And in the end you get a workplace that is typically more enjoyable, more productive, and a place people actually want to work. You get to put all the glitter in all the right places, and a clean slate for all the rest.
