We don’t talk enough about what it means for men (especially dads) to feel. Not just surface-level stuff like “stressed” or “tired,” but the deeper, gut-level, life-altering stuff: fulfillment, fear, identity, purpose. If we did, maybe more men would know it’s okay to cry when the leaves change. (Yes, that’s a real quote. Keep reading.)
We sat down with Mosiah Castrejon, a licensed therapist and girl dad, to talk about how parenthood reshapes everything you thought you knew about being a man. The conversation? Tender, truth-filled, and a powerful invitation to explore what it really means to show up, not just as a dad, but as a human being with a full range of emotions.
Fulfillment Isn’t What We Were Told
Let’s start with the lie: that men feel fulfilled by performing, providing, and pushing through.
And now let’s undo that. “Fulfillment is when your behavior reflects the kind of person you want to be,” Mosiah says. For dads, that might mean being present for bedtime stories, staying soft when their kids are melting down, or taking five deep breaths before walking in the front door after work.
Fulfillment isn’t the absence of hard moments. It’s the ability to look at how you showed up in spite of them and think, “That’s the dad I want to be.”
Redefining “Providing” as Emotional Safety
Most men are taught to be providers. But no one teaches them what that actually means beyond financial security.
Mosiah challenges this. “How do I provide emotional safety for my kids?” he asks. “Can I show up with presence? Can I be the person they feel safe bringing their mess to?” Provision isn’t just food, shelter, and clothes.
It’s space. Safety. Stability. A dad who turns off Endgame to hold his daughter when she says, “But Dad, you’re here.”
(Yes, that really happened. And yes, we sobbed.)
Becoming a Father Can Be a Mirror
Having kids won’t fix you. But it will reveal the parts of you that still need healing.
Mosiah reflects on how becoming a parent unlocked old survival patterns from his childhood. The ones where he learned to “be small” and stay silent to avoid being a burden. “Now, if my kids don’t come to me with their feelings, I panic,” he says. “I worry I’m repeating the cycle.”
This is the invisible emotional labor of dads who are trying to break generational trauma: feeling the discomfort, choosing differently, and holding space even when they’ve never been shown how.
When You’re Not Sure How to Feel
One of the most powerful moments in our conversation came when Mosiah acknowledged that many men don’t know how they feel in a given parenting moment. They’re just doing what they’ve always done: reacting, surviving, shutting down, doom-scrolling.
But awareness is a starting point. If you’re even wondering “Am I doing enough? Am I showing up how I want to?”… that means something. That’s growth.
Mosiah shares a simple practice that helps him reset: sitting in his car before walking in the house, taking a deep breath, and asking, How much battery do I have left? What can I give today? It’s a tiny habit, but it changes how he connects with his kids (and with himself).
Healing Isn’t Just for You; It’s for Your Kids
Healing your emotional landscape as a dad isn’t just about you. It’s about what your kids learn is possible. It’s about the relationship they’ll have with themselves.
When Mosiah’s daughter said, “But you’re here,” she wasn’t just naming her safety. She was naming her belief in him. That she trusts him. That she sees him as a soft place to land. And in that moment, Mosiah felt the healing ripple backward too, to the little boy in him who once didn’t feel safe expressing anything.
That’s what real fulfillment looks like: breaking the cycle and becoming the dad you needed.
About Mosiah Castrejon
Mosiah Castrejon, CMHC, NCC (he/him) is a clinical mental health counselor and emotional intelligence coach dedicated to helping men build stronger, more authentic connections with themselves and those around them. As a father and husband striving to show up fully, Mosiah brings a grounded, relatable approach to emotional growth.
Follow @mentalhealthmosiah on Instagram for more.
