About Taj A. Smith
Taj A. Smith (he/him) was born in Newport, RI but was raised in different cities in Wake County, NC. His favorite occupation is being a father and having the privilege of raising his daughter. In his career, he is in leadership in the finance industry. He primarily focuses on assisting people in developing the skills they need to progress in their career and reach the goals they have set for themselves, as well as coach them to be successful in their current roles to best position them for those future opportunities. He has a passion for helping people discover their true potential and maximizing what they have to offer, mostly because this was something he struggled with for the majority of his younger years.
Growing up, how was mental health talked about in your family or community? Did you feel supported when it came to expressing emotions?
Mental health was not discussed much when I was growing up, however my mother did mention it to me closer to my teenage years and she was a big advocate of prioritizing mental health, so she was the first one that really exposed to me to things like therapy, positive self-talk, and things related to that. I can say I felt supported in that as a teenager, but it wasn’t something I was interested in being vulnerable with. This was mostly due to how the male figures in my life carried themselves.
What has kept you from exploring therapy so far? Are there specific barriers or hesitations that come to mind?
The biggest thing that has kept me from exploring therapy as an adult is the fear that it won’t work, and I would have opened up to a stranger for no reason. I also feel like there is so much that would need to be unpacked and thinking about starting at the beginning of that journey is an overwhelming thought. Although I have seen some growth over the past couple years, I believe the scarcity of young black men in that field has also made it less appealing to me due to the fact that I want someone who I feel can relate to things I have went through in life or at least view my thoughts through a similar lens.
In your opinion, what are some of the biggest misconceptions about mental health within the Black community?
Therapy is only for people who are dealing with severe mental health issues. Expressing emotions is a sign of weakness. Nobody outside of the Black community cares so you must be strong no matter what you may be dealing with.
How do you currently manage stress or difficult emotions without professional support? Are there coping mechanisms that have worked well for you?
I’ve tried different things in different stages of life but currently I manage stress through positive outlets like working out, playing basketball, and listening to music. These three outlets have been constants in my life since I was young and so they are like my safe space. When I don’t know what else to do or I’m feeling overwhelmed, I immediately do one of these things to clear my mind. These things have been working for me, they got me through one of the roughest periods of my life recently and helped keep my head above water.
When you do decide to go to therapy, what do you hope to get out of it? Are there specific areas you’d want to explore?
This is something I haven’t thought about much unfortunately. I didn’t want to go into it with any agenda, I just wanted to be open minded and allow the guided conversation from the therapist take things wherever they may go. I hope through that process I am able to identify what I would hope to get out of it long term. If I had to assume what it may look like, I would want to better understand how my childhood trauma and adult experiences have shaped who I am, how I engage or don’t engage with others, what steps I can take to heal myself and what the “final” product of me could look like as a result.
Who or what has been your biggest source of emotional support, and how has that impacted your mental well-being?
My mom was a big source of emotional support at certain points of my life but honestly, I was my own support system. Not to say I didn’t have people who cared about me or loved me, but I have always been very internal with my emotions and mental battles, so I usually face them myself and work through it with self-talk. When going through this process, I tend to distance myself from others until I feel like I am back to where I was before. I’d say it has allowed me to maintain a certain level of mental well-being that allows me to be present most of the time, I would say this approach is more of a short-term fix. Over time I have noticed that this approach has led to my emotions compounding when new experiences that lead to stress or other negative emotions present themselves.
What advice would you give to another individual who might be struggling with mental health but is hesitant to seek help?
My best advice would be to start. Don’t try to have the perfect plan and everything structured the way you may have envisioned it. Taking that approach will lead to you planning forever and never taking the step towards your healing journey. You can always pivot along the way if something doesn’t feel right or you think a change would be better but the only way to encounter those things is to start the process. I would also recommend starting young, the longer you have the same habits the longer it will take to break and the more trauma you will likely have to unpack and work through when you do start. If you can get in front of it early, you can potentially save yourself from a lot of trauma in the future. Ask yourself, “What do I have to lose?” and “What do I have to gain?”, this may put in perspective the value of seeking help for mental health.
