There’s a difference between talking about oppression and actually feeling oppressed.
The first is intellectual. It lives in the news cycle, the policies, the headlines.
The second lives in your body. In the heaviness in your chest, the tightness in your throat, the voice that says, “What’s even the point?”
In our latest episode of If You Have Feelings with Taryn Rothstein, host Rae Thomas sits down with Taryn Rothstein (aka @thera_pissed), a New York–based therapist known for her unfiltered approach to emotional healing, to to unpack what it means to feel oppressed and how we can start to reclaim our power through community, connection, and truth-telling.
Before We Dive In
Before listening to our conversation with Taryn, start with our minisode “I’m Feeling: Oppressed.”
It’s a short breakdown of what it actually means to feel oppressed, including how it manifests in the body, what it asks for, and why it’s one of the hardest emotions to name. Once you’ve grounded yourself in the emotional definition, this episode will hit differently.
Because what Taryn and Rae talk about isn’t just oppression as a social concept. It’s the lived emotional experience of feeling small, silenced, and weighed down by something bigger than you.
🎧 Listen to the I’m Feeling: Oppressed minisode on →
When Feeling Oppressed Hits Home
Taryn describes oppression as feeling “silenced,” like there’s “a thumb on top of me… something bigger than me that’s making me feel small and quiet.”
That’s the thing about this emotion: it’s not always about systemic injustice, though that’s a VERY LARGE part of it. It can show up in personal relationships, at work, in your family, even in your own head.
Oppression, in feeling-form, often hides behind other emotions like sadness, anger, anxiety. As Taryn puts it, it’s like the head of the octopus while the tentacles show up as those more familiar emotions. You might find yourself playing emotional whack-a-mole: treating the anxiety here, the frustration there, but never naming the system underneath it all.
Naming It Is Power
When Taryn works with clients, especially queer and trans clients, she reminds them that naming “feeling oppressed” matters.
Because naming it reclaims some control.
It moves the experience from “I’m broken” to “The system is.”
It gives language to the invisible weight sitting on your chest, and once it has a name, it’s something you can try to work with rather than be crushed by.
Regaining Power Starts With Connection
Let’s be so for real for a moment: you can’t self-care your way out of oppression.
No journal prompt, bath bomb, or manifestation playlist is going to fix a system designed to silence you.
But what can help is community. Not as a cure, but as a lifeline.
Taryn puts it perfectly:
“Connecting to other people is the antidote to oppression.”
When we find others who understand (who validate our anger, fear, and exhaustion), that sense of smallness starts to shrink. The boulder on your back becomes a rock you can carry together.
That might look like joining a queer roller derby team (yes, really… Taryn did that), starting a local book club for socially conscious women, or even connecting with strangers online who share your lived experience. Reddit threads, comment sections, and virtual support spaces can be the new-age village and a reminder that you’re not alone, even when the world tries to convince you otherwise.
Empowerment Isn’t a Cure Either
Regaining power doesn’t mean the systems change overnight. It means you stop shrinking to fit them.
It’s the quiet kind of rebellion that happens when you tell your story, seek out community, and realize your voice carries weight.
As Taryn says, “We can’t usually cure something like oppression, but we can make it a little easier to live with.”
Sometimes that’s enough to start breathing again.
Try This
If you’re feeling small, silenced, or heavy, ask yourself:
- Where do I feel this in my body?
- Who makes me feel seen when I share this?
- What small step can I take toward community (online, in-person, or otherwise)?
And if you don’t know where to start, start small. Take one step toward connection. Join the club. Send the message. Comment on the post. You don’t need to fix the whole system. You just need to remember that you’re not in it alone.
About Taryn Rothstein
Taryn Rothstein (she/they) is a trained LMSW therapist in NYC. She is also a private therapeutic coach, with specialized experience in couples coaching, seeing clients around the globe. She brings a unique combination of empathy, knowledge, and experience to my practice, creating a safe and welcoming space for all. She's passionate about helping her clients connect in new ways, and find solutions to their relationship issues. She strives to provide comprehensive guidance and tools to empower them to make lasting positive changes, not just band-aid solutions for temporary relief.
