Hello buzz word: body acceptance. This term has been thrown around like beads at Mardi Gras over the last few years, coopted by skin care and clothing brands. It’s been easy to lose sight of what the heck body acceptance is and why it even matters.
What is it?
Body acceptance (as I define it) is a description of your relationship with your body where you are able to neutrally recognize your body for its form, capability, and appearance as it is in its current state. This is not to be confused with the Body Positive Movement, though we can easily say body acceptance wouldn’t be a buzz word without the incredible work of body positive activists. Body acceptance is recognizing where you’re at living your life to its fullest anyways.
Why does it matter?
Can you imagine being with someone every moment of every day and just hating their mere existence but having no way to get away from them? Yeah, sounds crappy to me too! This is what it can feel like when dislike or hate our body. The impact of this can reach into other areas of your life too. When our minds are so focused on our body and what we don’t like, that leaves less room to think about the people around us, others needs, our own needs, and the things that move us towards a fulfilling life.
At this point you may know the obvious ways we show our bodies we’re not happy with it, yo-yo diets, picking out your flaws in the mirror, shit talking your appearance with friends. But what are the small ways we put ourselves down or shun our present day body?
Stop That; Try This.
STOP PUSHING YOUR BODY TOO HARD
this looks like…
- staying up until 2am to complete a work project
- getting sick but pretending you’re not and going about your life per normal anyways
- working out to the point of getting lightheaded, nauseous, or feeling wasted the rest of the day
Instead, try . . .
staying up until 2am to complete a work project
getting sick but pretending you're not and going about your life per normal anyways
if you normally get up at 7, shoot for 7:20. Any meetings that can be moved to virtual, do it! Wear the comfy jeans rather than the cute ones. Finding even the smallest ways to make the day a bit easier can make a big difference.
working out to the point of getting lightheaded, nauseous, or feeling wasted the rest of the day
pull it back and get to know your limits. pay attention to your breathing and take time to recover during movement, ain’t nothing wrong with a 2 minute breather!
STOP IGNORING HUNGER/FULLNESS CUES
this looks like…
- noticing you’re hungry but not grabbing something to eat because you’re already running late
- feeling full but eating the offered treat anyways because it’s the polite thing to do
- craving something hardy but choosing the “lighter” option because “it’s better for you”
Instead, try…
noticing you’re hungry but not grabbing something to eat because you’re already running late
try stocking your car/backpack/purse/office with snacks so that you’re always able to honor your hunger on the go, or, just show up late! you will be more present and productive fed and 5 minutes late than on time with tummy grumbles!
feeling full but eating the offered treat anyways because it’s the polite thing to do
try responding to the offer with, “oh man I’m full right now but I’d love to take some to try later!” or be radically honest explaining you’re working on listening to your body and it’s just not hungry right now
craving something hardy but choosing the “lighter” option because “it’s better for you”
try getting curious about what you’re craving (the Intuitive Eating Guide is great for this!)! is your craving a sign that your body needs a bit more fuel or more of a certain nutrient? or maybe you’re simply just craving the taste of that food because its been awhile, and thats ok! when we honor our cravings with mindful enjoyment we re-assure our body that we’re listening.
STOP GIVING DISCLAIMERS
this looks like…
- “oh those stairs are really hard because I’ve got asthma”
- “excuse how I look, I had zero time to get ready this morning!”
- “I really did my best, but I know this isn’t great.”
Instead, try…
“oh those stairs are really hard because I’ve got asthma”
try saying nothing. take your time up those stairs or with that task, your body is doing the best it can, no reason to make it our yourself feel less than.
“excuse how I look, I had zero time to get ready this morning!”
again, what if we said nothing? what if we just showed up how we are that day no matter the form it takes! and if someone comments on how ‘tired’ we look, kindly smile and say “yes, I am, thank you for bringing it to my attention like I didn’t already know.” 🥲
“I really did my best, but I know this isn’t great.”
try honoring your work and perspective while leaving room for them to have a different opinion. this could look like, “this is how I interpreted the prompt, is this what you were thinking?” or name the specific struggles you ran into, “I found X really challenging with this assignment”
STOP AVOIDING NEW THINGS
this looks like…
- finding yet another way to get out of subbing for your friends volleyball game because you’ve never played before
- refusing to go on the paint and sip social because “I’m just not artistic”
- loving a new style trend but not trying it out yourself because “i dont have the body for that”
Instead, try…
finding yet another way to get out of subbing for your friends volleyball game because you’ve never played before
try asking a friend to teach you 1:1 before committing to a whole game, but also, does your friend need a ‘good’ player or just a player? ask about their expectations and don’t let your unknown capabilities keep you from new experiences!
refusing to go on the paint and sip social because “I’m just not artistic”
try getting comfortable with being ‘bad’ at things and get curious why it’s important that you be good at all the things you do! you may find you enjoy being artsy even if it isn’t what you would call good art.
loving a new style trend but not trying it out yourself because “i don’t have the body for that”
try exploring what you are hoping your style will say about you as a person, not as a body. conveying our adventurous or cozy qualities is not dependent on ‘looking good’ in a particular style!
