Written by Alexandra Dawson
What if your biggest “L’s” (losses) weren’t failures, but training for life’s greatest victories?
Picture this: The buzzer just sounded loudly. Final score: 78-76. So close to getting that “W” but it’s just another heartbreaking loss for Aaron White's college team. As teammates slumped onto the bench, shoulders heavy with defeat, Aaron found himself in a familiar position—teammates gravitating toward him, seeking words of wisdom, perspective, comfort.
"I didn't have all the answers," Aaron recalls. “But somehow, I always knew what to say to help them see beyond that moment."
Aaron White never imagined that those post-game conversations would foreshadow his life's calling. The former Division I basketball player had mapped out a different path entirely.
"Principal. That was the destination," he says with a smile that reaches his eyes. "Graduate school, education administration, the whole nine yards."
But life, like basketball, is full of unexpected pivots.
From Basketball to Therapy: Aaron White’s Unexpected Career Pivot
Aaron’s turning point came when his graduate program suggested he switch to clinical mental health.
Suddenly, it clicked.
"People had always sought me out for advice, for problem-solving," he explains. "I’d been doing therapy work all along without realizing it. Why not make it official?"
Today, Aaron's desk is adorned not with championship trophies but with notes from grateful clients. isn’t just a licensed professional clinical counselor and credentialed school psychologist—he’s the founder of The Authentic Project Counseling and co-founder of Student Athletes Reaching a Greater Alliance (SAGA) has found his true court.
"It’s like basketball," he explains. "You think you're a point guard until you play center—and suddenly, everything feels right. That’s what happened when I found counseling."
What Sports Teach Us About Life: Lessons from the Game Film
Swipe up, refresh, scroll, repeat. Desperately refreshing Instagram, comparing followers, and agonizing over the number of likes you get in comparison to your classmates and friends, you find yourself doom-scrolling through perfect vacation photos while sitting alone in your room. A young professional panicking about not having achieved enough according to arbitrary societal standards.
Aaron White sees these struggles daily. And his approach? He pulls out game film—metaphorically speaking.
"Sports are life’s game film," Aaron explains. "Everything you need to know about handling challenges, it’s all there."
He lists the transferable skills on his fingers:
✔️ Time management
✔️ Resilience
✔️ Communication
✔️ Collaboration with diverse backgrounds
But beyond skills, the emotional parallels run deeper.
"Those butterflies before a big game? That's anxiety. That heaviness after a crushing defeat or season-ending injury? Depression. Athletes experience the full spectrum of mental health challenges, just with different vocabulary."
Aaron recalls a client, a former college swimmer who excelled under pressure in competitions but literally froze during job interviews.
"She couldn’t connect the dots until we reframed it. 'Remember how you'd prepare mentally before meets? We're going to apply the same pre-performance routine here.' Suddenly, she saw interviews as another type of performance, not something alien. Her abilities transferred once she recognized the pattern."
Beyond the Label: How Athletes Can Redefine Their Identity
2025 is an era of deepening division—political, social, cultural—yet Aaron prefers to view this as a powerful lesson in sports fandom.
"Look at any stadium during a championship game," he says. "You've got people who would never speak to each other outside those walls, all high-fiving when their team scores. The CEO and the janitor, conservatives and liberals, young and old—all wearing the same colors, all wanting the same outcome."
He pulls up a photo on his phone from a recent playoff game. "See? That's what unity looks like. A common goal that transcends all of our differences."
In today's fragmented world of algorithm-driven echo chambers and personalized content, sports remains one of the few shared experiences across all demographic lines.
"Imagine if we could bottle that sense of common purpose and apply it elsewhere," Aaron muses. "That's the magic formula."
Breaking the Box: The Identity Trap
Sitting on Aaron's office bookshelf is a small cardboard box—a teaching tool he uses frequently with clients.
"It's a visual reminder," he explains, picking it up. "This is what we do to ourselves and others. We put people in boxes with labels. 'Basketball player.' 'Math whiz.' 'TikTok influencer.' And once you're in that box, breaking out feels impossible."
Recalling his own struggle. "People know you as one thing for so long that your own identity gets confined. I wasn't just 'Aaron the basketball player'—I was a brother, a son, a friend, a thinker, a leader. But the louder that one label gets, the harder it is to hear all of the others."
This identity crisis is impacting everyone in today’s social media first world, especially since young people are pressured to brand themselves before they’ve fully explored who they are.
"I work with teenagers terrified to pivot their interests because they’ve built a following around one talent. They feel trapped by their own success.” At SAGA, Aaron teaches athletes to protect the person behind the sport. "Because when the uniform comes off, who are you then?"
Why Unrealistic Expectations Are Holding You Back—and How to Reframe Them
At the heart of our fears, Aaron believes, lies a fundamental anxiety: falling short of our own expectations.
"We all have this mental movie about how life is ‘supposed’ to unfold," Aaron says. "Graduate by this age. Hit career milestones by that age. Relationships, owning a house, kids—all on a super strict timeline."
When reality diverges from this internal timeline, self-doubt creeps in.
"That’s when comparison starts. When confidence takes a hit. When depression sinks in—because you’re not where you think you should be."
One of the biggest culprits?
✔️ Social media: The modern expectation factory.
"We only see everyone’s highlight reels. Not their bloopers. Not their outtakes. Not their ordinary Tuesdays."
Aaron recalls a client who canceled a vacation because her plans weren’t Instagram-worthy.
"She couldn’t bear to take a trip that wouldn’t photograph well. Think about that—living for the documentation, not the experience."
His advice? Reframe the comparison game.
✔️ Instead of ‘I’ll never be that good,’ think, ‘What can I learn from them?’
✔️ Instead of ‘They’re so far ahead,’ ask, ‘What’s one step I can take today?’
It’s about learning from others’ journeys—not letting them define yours.
Would You Treat Yourself Like Your Smartphone? A Lesson in Self-Care
As Aaron reflects back on his journey he mentions: "I made a decision early on that many don't: I would use basketball as a tool, not let it use me." Which is opposite of how society tells us our worth and value is measured- by productivity, followers, or achievements.
Aaron holds up his phone.
"We take care of our phones better than we take care of ourselves. Think about it. We:
✔️ Protect them with cases
✔️ Keep them charged
✔️ Update the software
✔️ Troubleshoot when something’s wrong
Now imagine applying that same care to yourself.
"If you’re running low, recharge. If something’s broken, repair it. If you’re stuck in outdated thinking, update your mindset. Your maintenance matters."
Stepping Outside Your Comfort Zone: Fear and Growth
“Anxiety and Fear—especially fear of the unknown—is what holds most people back”, according to Aaron. "It's like a basketball player who only practices on their home court," he explains. "You get comfortable, but real growth happens when you challenge yourself in unfamiliar spaces."
He sees this fear play out daily: professionals stuck in unfulfilling jobs, students picking majors based on parents’ expectations, relationships lingering past their expiration date. "Fear-based thinking keeps us small," he says. "If we always stay in our little bubbles—whether it's comfort-zone careers or social media echo chambers—no growth happens."
His challenge? "Are you living YOUR life, or someone else's version of it?"
The Full-Court Press for Change
For those seeking real, authentic change, Aaron recommends a comprehensive approach—what he calls "the full-court press."
"Real transformation isn't about one big move; it's about consistent pressure across the entire court of your life," he explains.
He outlines the strategy:
"Are you surrounding yourself with people who elevate or deflate you? Are you consuming information that expands or limits your thinking? Are you moving your body? Connecting with nature? Writing down what brings you joy? Being intentional about your self-talk?"
Aaron emphasizes that mental health isn't compartmentalized. "You can't just change your thoughts while maintaining unhealthy patterns in everything else. True change is a lifestyle overhaul."
He compares it to how professional athletes approach improvement—not just practice, but nutrition, sleep, recovery, mental conditioning, and review.
"You wouldn't expect to transform your basketball game by only working on your jump shot for one hour a week, right? Same principle applies here."
The Inner Announcer
Perhaps nothing influences our mental game more than the constant commentary in our heads—what Aaron calls our "inner announcer."
"Self-talk is everything," he emphasizes. "It's the announcer that never stops broadcasting, calling your every move, interpreting your every experience."
The difference between constructive and destructive self-talk is subtle but crucial.
"There's a world of difference between 'Why did I do that?' and 'You're so stupid for doing that.' Between 'I need to work on this' and 'I'll never get better.'"
In a world where external criticism comes readily through social media comments, performance reviews, and constant (usually negative) feedback loops, the quality of our internal dialogue becomes even more critical.
"Everyone's got critics these days," Aaron acknowledges, "but the harshest one is usually the voice inside your own head."
Brick by Brick: The Path to an Authentic Life
In a world constantly asking for more, being more, doing more, Aaron shares his ultimate perspective.
"Real change happens brick by brick, day by day. You don’t build a wall overnight."
This is his response to today’s instant-results culture—where influencers seem to achieve overnight success and crash diets promise transformation in days.
"If you lay one brick every day, eventually you’ll look up and have a wall. Whether it's mental health, a skill, a business, or a relationship—it’s about consistency."
His final advice? Take action.
"Say what you want. Take one step toward it today. And most importantly—take care of yourself."
And when asked how people can best support his mission? His answer reveals the core of his philosophy:
"People can best support me by taking care of themselves. Holistically—mind, body, spirit."
About Aaron White (he/him)
Aaron White (he/him) is a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor (LPCC) and Credentialed School Psychologist. Aaron is the owner of The Authentic Project Counseling and Co-founder of Student Athletes Reaching A Greater Alliance. As a former NCAA Division 1 athlete, Aaron is passionate about assisting people to live an authentic lifestyle, and developing a sustainable well-being while incorporating self-perspective. Aaron’s impact reaches beyond the clinical setting, educational system and fields/courts of play as he strives to promote authentic wellness.
