Emotional Curiosity and Neurodiversity: A Deep Dive into Mental Health

Written by Alexandra Dawson

Imagine scrolling through your FYP on TikTok, seeing a video that says, “If you can’t finish tasks, you might have ADHD.” Sounds relatable, right? 

But what if it’s not that simple? In a world where mental health awareness is booming and let’s face it, trending, understanding neurodiversity —and the real stories behind the hashtags—has never been more important.

Recently we sat down with Dr. Courtney Kwan, Ph.D., MSc., B.A. (she/her) who specializes in neurodevelopmental disabilities, to unpack emotional curiosity within neurodivergent populations. Trust us, this isn't your typical psychology lecture. 

Dr. Kwan's the real deal – a clinical psychologist who gets how different brains work, and she's here to spill the tea on something called "emotional curiosity" in neurodivergent folks. 

This conversation isn’t just educational—it's a heartfelt exploration of what it means to navigate a world that doesn’t always “get” you. Whether you're neurodivergent yourself, love someone who is, or just want to understand why your brain works the way it does, this conversation hits differently. No gatekeeping here – just real talk about how we can all understand each other better.

What is Neurodiversity? Breaking Down Autism and ADHD

Dr. Kwan, whose expertise in autism, ADHD, anxiety, and chronic illnesses sets the stage for a rich conversation by starting off with the nuances of neurodivergence, especially the overlap between autism and ADHD. Curiously, Rae asks about ADHD and how it differs from autism.Though they are distinct conditions, they share a common challenge: executive functioning struggles—the ability to plan, shift focus, and regulate emotions. 

She breaks it down simply: Autism often involves difficulties with social communication and interaction, making it harder to pick up on social cues and emotional nuances. ADHD, on the other hand, doesn’t hinder emotional understanding but often interferes with emotional regulation—making it difficult to stay present, focused, or organized. Both, however, can make it harder to identify emotions in real-time.

Dr. Kwan then goes on and explains that autism is an entire spectrum, pointing out that it’s not tied to intellectual ability alone. Instead, it involves so much more including challenges in social communication and restrictive, repetitive interests. 

For example: Someone on the spectrum might have an intense passion for Pokémon or AI, building their entire life both professional and personal around these interests. Or someone on the spectrum might hyper-focus on one of their passions, like building an entire Minecraft world and recreating a 1:1 model of Disneyland or memorizing every line from Stranger Things. It’s not just a hobby—it’s their way of connecting with the rest of the world. 

She continues by noting that both conditions share executive functioning challenges—difficulties with planning, organizing, and shifting attention. This overlap is why autism and ADHD often fall under the umbrella of neurodiversity.

The Emotional Toll of Masking

One of the most poignant parts of the neurodivergent conversation revolves around masking aka—the act of hiding one’s neurodivergent traits to fit into societal norms. Dr. Courtney Kwan explains how masking can lead to burnout, especially for individuals who’ve spent years trying to “pass” as neurotypical. 

For many neurodivergent individuals, the world feels overwhelming. Sensory overload—whether from bright lights, loud noises, or just too much information—can make emotions harder to process. And when everything feels like too much, the easiest response is to shut down.

“It’s like being in a foreign country, pretending to understand the language, but eventually becoming exhausted from the effort.” - Rae Thomas

Dr. Kwan expands on this, sharing how masking can cause emotional dysregulation, even leading to physical symptoms like headaches, stomachaches, and even panic attacks. This segment highlights the reality that so many neurodivergent people experience- the mental health toll of living in a world that isn’t always accommodating to neurodivergent individuals.

Emotional Curiosity: Exploring Feelings in a Neurodivergent World

The conversation shifts to emotional curiosity—how neurodivergent individuals can explore and understand their emotions. Dr. Kwan emphasizes that traditional talk therapy might not always work for neurodivergent individuals, who can really struggle with articulating their feelings.

Instead, she recommends perspective-taking. This involves helping individuals see situations from others’ POV (point of view) — and using visual tools, like the Feelings Wheel (created by yours truly), to make emotions more concrete.

We discussed how caregivers and educators can support emotional curiosity:

• by validating emotions

• using explicit and clear language

• and providing written or visual instructions

This ties into the broader mental health theme of creating more inclusive and accessible tools and strategies for emotional well-being.

The Risks of Self-Diagnosis

With neurodiversity becoming a mainstream conversation, social media has become a double-edged sword. And lately, there has been an uptick on social media with MH self-diagnosing on the rise… 

Currently self-diagnosis is trending, particularly on TikTok. She calls it: Doctor Google Syndrome—the tendency to self-diagnose based on short-form content, like a TikTok video listing "signs of ADHD" or an Instagram post on autism traits.

"Social media gives people pieces of the puzzle," she explains, "but it doesn’t show the whole picture." 

And while Dr. Kwan acknowledges the value of increased awareness around mental health, neurodivergence, and accessible information, she cautions against the risks of self-diagnosing without a professional evaluation, explaining that conditions like trauma, anxiety, and depression can mimic ADHD or autism, and misdiagnosis can lead to inappropriate treatments, such as stimulant medications for someone who doesn’t actually have ADHD.

It is important to note that seeking professional help is always recommended and that there are dangers of oversimplifying complex mental health conditions. It’s a reminder to everyone to be mindful and approach self-awareness with curiosity and caution, rather than jumping to conclusions based on a single relatable video or social media trend.

Practical Advice for Caregivers and Educators

Wrapping up, Dr. Kwan offers some valuable and practical advice for neurodivergent individuals and their caregivers.

She emphasizes:

• the importance of asking for help when needed

• reminding people to stay curious

• and encourages individuals to seek clarification and support when needed.

We echo this sentiment, tying it back to the mission of Feelings Found—to provide tools and resources that make emotional exploration accessible to everyone.

Key Takeaways:

• Neurodiversity is a Spectrum: Autism and ADHD are complex, multifaceted conditions that affect individuals differently. Understanding these conditions requires nuance and empathy.
• Masking Has Consequences: While masking can help neurodivergent individuals navigate social situations, it often leads to emotional burnout and dysregulation.
• Emotional Curiosity is Key: Exploring and understanding emotions is crucial for mental health, but it requires tools and strategies tailored to neurodivergent individuals’ needs.
• Beware of Self-Diagnosis: While social media has raised awareness about neurodiversity, self-diagnosis can be risky. Professional evaluation is essential for accurate diagnosis and treatment.

Support for Caregivers and Educators: Caregivers and educators play a vital role in supporting neurodivergent individuals. Validation, clarity, and patience are key.

The Overall Message: Understanding, Acceptance, and Empowerment

The overarching message of this episode is one of understanding, acceptance, and empowerment highlighting the importance of creating a world where neurodivergent individuals can thrive without having to mask their true selves. How? We start by fostering emotional curiosity and doing our best to provide accessible tools. We can support mental health and well-being for everyone, regardless of how their brain is wired. It’s just gonna take inclusive and compassionate approaches when it comes to emotional exploration and regulation. 

It’s a call to rethink how we view neurodiversity and how we can advocate for better support systems for our neurodivergent friends and communities. Stay curious, ask questions, and reach out for help when you need it—because mental health is a journey, and no one should have to walk it alone.

Why This Matters for Mental Health

Neurodiversity is a huge part of the mental health conversation. By understanding and supporting neurodivergent individuals, we can create a world where EVERYONE has the tools and resources they need to thrive. It's a powerful reminder that emotional curiosity, empathy, and professional support are all keys to building a healthier, more compassionate society.

So whether you’re neurodivergent yourself, a caregiver, an educator, or simply someone who wants to learn more, this conversation offers valuable insights and practical strategies. It’s a must-listen for anyone passionate about mental health and neurodiversity. 

TL;DR:

• Neurodiversity (autism, ADHD, etc.) is complex and varies for everyone. Masking traits to fit in can lead to burnout and emotional struggles.

• Emotional curiosity—understanding and exploring feelings—is key for mental health but requires tools like visual aids and perspective-taking.

• Self-diagnosis via social media can be risky; professional evaluation is crucial for accurate diagnosis and treatment.

• Caregivers and educators can help by validating emotions, using clear language, and providing written/visual instructions.

• The big takeaway? Stay curious, ask for help, and advocate for inclusive support systems. Mental health is a journey, and no one should walk it alone.

About Dr. Courtney Kwan, Ph.D., MSc., B.A. (she/her) 

Dr. Courtney Kwan is a practicing licensed psychologist that relies on evidence-based treatments and cultural competence to improve the effectiveness and quality of mental health care for diverse populations. Her specialties include psychodiagnostic evaluation of children, adolescents, and adults for Autism, ADHD, learning disabilities, giftedness, and other psychiatric concerns. She is also passionate in providing therapy to children and adolescents. 

Dr. Kwan has years of experience working with individuals who struggle with: Neurodevelopmental (autism, ADHD, executive functioning challenges, social skill difficulties); Medical (i.e., coping, medical regimen adherence); Psychiatric conditions (anxiety, adjustment challenges, depression, stress, OCD, tics/Tourette’s and sleep difficulties); and Parenting difficulties.

Still Curious?

• Learn more about Dr. Kwan 

• Connect on Instagram @drcourtneykwan

• Watch the full interview on YouTube

• Listen to the full interview on Spotify