About Tony Reyes
Tony Reyes, Jr., Associate Marriage and Family Therapist (AMFT) (he/him), is dedicated to helping men navigate their mental health. Growing up in a household shaped by tough, aggressive masculinity, Tony understands the challenges of emotional disconnection and building healthy relationships. His own healing journey revealed that true strength comes from vulnerability. Today, he guides men through their struggles, fostering emotional growth and helping them create balanced, fulfilling lives.
What inspired you to pursue a career in therapy, particularly in addressing the unique mental health challenges that men encounter?
I was raised in an environment where men were expected to suppress their emotions and always remain in control. Growing up surrounded by men who modeled toxic masculinity—poor communication, aggression, and emotional avoidance—taught me that strength meant never being vulnerable. But I also saw the damage it caused. It wasn’t until I became a husband and father that I began to feel the weight of that emotional burden. I found myself repeating those same unhealthy patterns of anger and frustration, believing that providing for my family financially was enough, and neglecting the emotional connection they needed. Therapy changed that for me. It helped me see that real strength lies in vulnerability and emotional presence. I realized how much men struggle under the weight of these stigmas, and it inspired me to help others navigate these challenges. I wanted to offer men the kind of support I so desperately needed.
Was there a specific moment or realization that drove you toward this path?
Yes, there was a defining moment when I realized that my anger and inability to communicate was deeply affecting my family. I would get frustrated and overwhelmed, not understanding why I couldn’t connect with my wife and children the way I wanted to. It was during a particularly intense moment of conflict that I realized I needed help. Therapy helped me understand that my anger wasn’t just about the present—it was a lifetime of suppressed emotions that I never knew how to deal with. That realization became the turning point for me. Therapy allowed me to see that I didn’t need to control every situation and that it was okay to ask for help. This shift in my own journey made me want to help other men break free from these same emotional chains.
Can you share any personal experiences that have shaped your understanding of the stigmas men face in seeking mental health support? Have they influenced your approach as a therapist?
Growing up in a patriarchal, intergenerational household, I saw how men were praised for their toughness and criticized for any sign of emotional vulnerability. The stigma that men can’t express feelings without being seen as weak was deeply embedded in my upbringing, and I internalized it. This belief followed me into adulthood, and it wasn’t until therapy that I began to unravel that conditioning. I learned that it’s not only okay to feel vulnerable, but it’s necessary for growth. As a therapist, I bring this understanding into my work. I know how difficult it is for men to open up, so I create a space where they feel safe, without judgment, to explore emotions they’ve been taught to avoid. My personal experiences help me understand the hesitation, but also the healing that can come when men take that step toward vulnerability.
For men who are struggling with the fear of stigma or judgment in seeking mental health support, what advice would you offer them? How can they begin to navigate these challenges and take that first step?
My advice is to remember that you don’t have to go through this alone. It’s common for men to feel like they have to be the strong ones, holding everything together, but the truth is, nobody can do it all on their own. The fear of judgment is real, and I’ve been there myself, thinking that asking for help meant I had failed in some way. But asking for help is the opposite—it’s an act of courage. The first step can be as simple as recognizing that it’s okay to not be okay. Talk to someone you trust, or reach out to a therapist. The hardest part is breaking through the belief that seeking support is a weakness. Once you do, you’ll realize how freeing it is to finally be honest with yourself and those around you. You don’t have to be perfect—you just have to be human.
Are there any initiatives, organizations, or movements that you would like to mention for their work in advancing men's mental health?
I’ve been deeply inspired by men in my personal life who, like me, have allowed themselves to embark on a journey toward emotional vulnerability and growth. Additionally, platforms like The Man Enough Podcast, Modern Macho, Mantalks, and re.masculine are doing incredible work in raising awareness about men’s mental health. These communities are essential because they bring attention to men’s struggles and help break down the isolation many men feel. They remind us that we are not alone in this journey. Locally, I’ve seen the power of smaller, community-based men’s support groups, where men are given space to talk openly and honestly about their experiences. These grassroots movements are vital in challenging the stigmas surrounding men’s mental health and are helping to redefine masculinity in a way that embraces emotional vulnerability and personal growth.
