In a world filled with expectations—both cultural and societal—how do we carve out space for our own personal values?
For many first-generation professionals, especially within the Latinx community, navigating between expected values and personal values can feel like walking a tightrope. We recently spoke with Dr. Lisette Sanchez, PhD, Licensed Psychologist & Jefa (she/her/ella) who specializes in first-gen Latina mental health, about the power of values in shaping clarity, confidence, and emotional well-being.
The Weight of Expected Values
From an early age, many of us are taught specific cultural values that define success, family roles, and even self-worth. "Familismo," or prioritizing family above all else, is a deeply ingrained value in Latinx households. While this can create strong family bonds, it can also lead to internal conflict when personal aspirations don’t align with traditional expectations.
Dr. Sanchez explains, "Many first-gen professionals feel stuck in a cycle of ‘shoulds’—what they should do for their family, what career they should pursue, how they should behave. The challenge is learning to differentiate between inherited values and personal values."
Personal Values vs. Cultural Expectations
Much like the struggles faced by characters in Encanto—where family obligations weigh heavily on individual dreams—first-gen individuals often experience cognitive dissonance when making major life choices. Do you follow the expected path, or do you take a leap toward personal fulfillment?
"When expected values and personal values collide, people often experience anxiety, indecision, and guilt," says Dr. Sanchez. "Recognizing this internal conflict is the first step toward making empowered choices."
How to Identify Your Core Values
One of the most effective ways to gain clarity is through values exploration. Tools like our Values Deck (and Expansion Pack) can help individuals reflect on what truly matters to them versus what they have been conditioned to believe is important.
Dr. Sanchez recommends:
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Journaling your priorities – Write down what aspects of life bring you the most fulfillment versus what feels like an obligation.
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Noticing patterns – Identify when you feel most energized and authentic versus when you feel pressured or drained.
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Having open conversations – Sometimes, articulating your values with a trusted friend or therapist can provide validation and clarity.
Navigating Guilt and Family Expectations
One of the biggest barriers to embracing personal values is guilt. Many first-gen professionals struggle with the fear of disappointing their families when making independent choices. "Guilt is often a byproduct of love," Dr. Sanchez explains. "But we have to remind ourselves that prioritizing our well-being doesn’t mean abandoning our families—it means creating a healthier, more sustainable way of being."
Instead of seeing values as an either-or situation, she encourages clients to seek compromise. "You don’t have to reject cultural values entirely, but you can redefine them in ways that work for you."
Empowered Decision-Making Through Values
Ultimately, aligning decisions with personal values leads to a greater sense of peace and confidence. Dr. Sanchez emphasizes, "When we make choices rooted in our true values, we feel more grounded and less reliant on external validation."
If you’re ready to start exploring your own values and how they shape your decision-making, our Values Deck is designed to help you navigate these tough questions with intention and clarity.
About Dr. Lisette Sanchez, PhD, Licensed Psychologist & Jefa (she/her/ella)
Dr. Lisette Sanchez is a bilingual and bicultural psychologist, celebrated speaker, and insightful writer. She founded Calathea Wellness, a virtual platform offering therapy, freelance writing, consultation, and speaking services. Raised in Southern California by El Salvadoran and Mexican immigrants, Dr. Lisette is dedicated to aiding BIPOC and first-generation professionals, specializing in healing intergenerational trauma, combating the impostor phenomenon and embrace their bicultural identity.
Her work has been featured in the Los Angeles Times, HuffPost, Refinery29, Telemundo, Univision, and more. She leads mental health workshops for Fortune 500 companies and universities worldwide, supporting their DEIB efforts. Dr. Lisette holds degrees from UC San Diego, Columbia University, and the University of Oregon.
Still Curious?
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Learn more about Dr. Sanchez
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Connect on Instagram @thefirstgenpsychologist
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Watch the full interview on YouTube
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Listen to the full interview on Spotify
