About Carly Compton
Carly Compton, ACSW (she/her) specializes in eating disorders and understands the importance of trauma-informed care and cultural awareness and competency when working with her clients. Eating disorders have a direct connection to trauma and unfortunately this is something that she believes the eating disorder field overlooks. Whether it be understanding the connections between anti-fatness and anti-Blackness, the direct correlation between racial trauma and eating disorders, childhood trauma and its correlation to eating disorders, or PTSD and eating disorders all need to be approached through a trauma-informed lens.
Can you share a bit about your journey with eating disorders and what your experience was like when you first realized you were struggling? How has your personal experience influenced your work as an associate therapist?
Starting around 4th/5th grade is when I started to notice my body in ways that were not positive. I started to notice I existed in a body that was larger than my friends. I started to notice peers interacted with me differently than my thinner friends. I started to notice the negative self talk my mom engaged in regarding her body. This was the start of many years of yo-yo dieting, negative self talk, and hatred toward my body. I attempted every diet you could think of and wasn't seeing the "results" I wanted and I was still getting messages that thinner was better. Unfortunately, because I was not educated on eating disorders, body image, or Health at Every Size I found myself seeking extreme "solutions." It was around my junior year of high school that I started engaging in eating disorders behaviors, my disorder eating behaviors had existed for many years up to this point. I wasn't thinking about the impact it was having on my body than whether I was losing weight or not. Fast forward five years later and I am starting to notice physical symptoms of my eating disorder - sore throat, fatigue, digestion issues, hair falling out, etc. This was when I knew something was wrong & that my body was trying to tell me something. I am so thankful that I listened because that is when my recovery started. This is the short version of this experience but this is the lived experience that brought me to where I am today - an eating disorder educator, associate clinician, and creator of an eating disorder curriculum for adolescents. It is that lived experience that made me realize just how little education and awareness there is around disordered eating, eating disorders, body diversity, etc. At the end of the day if someone where to ask me what is my why, I would say it is my younger self, it is all the adolescents out there that don't understand you can love and appreciate your body without being thin.
What were some of the most difficult emotions you had to confront during your recovery, and how did you begin to process them?
Shame. Shame around opening up about my eating disorder. Shame around weight gain. Shame around relapse. I experienced so much shame throughout my recovery and this is an emotion that comes up so often with my clients and it takes a lot of unlearning and deconstructing to work through that shame. I had to identify where that shame was coming from - who was telling me I needed to feel that shame? Where did I first hear that these things were shameful? This unlearning and deconstructing is what really helped me through that shame. I allowed myself the space to feel these emotions in a compassionate way while also exploring if those emotions aligned with my current values. I did a lot of inner child work to help the younger version of myself heal and learn she doesn't need to feel shame for these experiences.
What emotions surface when you think about how far you've come? How do you honor those feelings while continuing to heal?
Compassion and gratitude. I have so much compassion for my younger self, my current self, and my future self. Self compassion is truly one of the most life changing tools I have learned for myself. Gratitude because I am so grateful for how far I have come, I am so grateful that my body has stuck with me through all of this. I am grateful for the support systems I have had and the ability to have safe spaces to heal. I recognize that not everybody has access to these spaces and that is part of my work. Connecting individuals with safe community spaces of healing that do not cause further harm. We are all deserving of that.
How do you maintain your mental health and well-being now, especially as someone who works in the mental health field and helps others on their healing journeys?
I find that engaging in community spaces is really essential for me - whether that be social media, hobbies, etc. community brings me so much healing and safety. I am a firm believer that mental health cannot be individualized, it must be centered around community and dismantling of harmful systems that perpetuate mental health struggles and trauma.
For someone who’s in the early stages of recovery and may feel overwhelmed or hopeless, what advice or encouragement would you offer based on your own experience?
You are not alone. Recovery can feel so isolating and lonely but it doesn't have to be. Find your communities, find your safe spaces and allow yourself to prioritize that. You do not have to do this alone, there are many people and organizations that want to support you and help you and there is absolutely no shame in asking for help. I am a firm believer that asking for help is one of the strongest things we can do. It may feel hard at the moment but I promise your future self will thank you and it will get easier. Be kind to yourself. Be compassionate to yourself. Remember that you are worthy of love, success, acceptance, etc. no matter the size of your body.
