Written by Alexandra Dawson
Let’s be real—society has us chasing a version of success that’s all about the grind. The higher the GPA, the fancier the job title, the bigger the paycheck, the better... right?
Brandon Shindo, LCSW (he/him) is calling BS on that narrative. As a licensed clinical social worker and co-founder of KMB Therapy in Sherman Oaks, he’s spent years unpacking the toxic cycle of achievement obsession. His take? Success and happiness don’t have to be at war. You can have both—on your own terms.
From Doctor Dreams to Social Work: Breaking Out of the “Perfect Asian Kid” Mold
Brandon’s story starts like a lot of first-gen kids'—his future was practically mapped out before he could even dream. "I was planned to be the typical Asian American doctor," he shares. Good grades weren’t just encouraged; they were the only option.
But life had a plot twist. UCLA chemistry class? Not it. Through mentorship and a whole lot of self-discovery, Brandon realized his passion wasn’t in medicine but in mental health and ethnic studies. And that shift—choosing purpose over pressure—became the foundation for how he helps others redefine success for themselves.
Are You Trading Happiness for Hustle? (Spoiler: You Might Be)
Success = numbers. Happiness = vibes. At least, that’s what we’ve been conditioned to believe.
"For so many years, success has been metric-based, and happiness has been more intrinsic," Brandon explains. That’s why so many of us push joy to the back burner, waiting until we hit the next big milestone. The problem? That cycle never really ends.
If you’ve been stuck in the grind-but-never-satisfied loop, your mind and body might already be waving red flags:
🚩 Chronic burnout and exhaustion
🚩 Anxiety, stress, or low-key depressive episodes
🚩 Random physical symptoms (headaches, stomach issues, tension—your body keeps score)
🚩 Compassion fatigue (especially if you're the go-to emotional support friend)
So, how do we stop chasing an imaginary finish line and actually feel good right now?
Brandon’s No-Fluff Guide to Real Balance
1. Measure Success Backwards
Instead of obsessing over how far you still have to go, flip the script. Look at how far you’ve already come. Celebrate your wins—even the small ones.
2. Set Boundaries (Yes, Even with Your Fave People)
"Boundaries are meant to keep people closer, not push them away," Brandon reminds us. They protect your energy, help you show up better in relationships, and keep your circle healthy.
3. Define Success & Happiness on Your Own Terms
Ask yourself:
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What does success actually look like for me (not my parents, my boss, or society)?
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What brings me genuine joy?
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How can I integrate both into my daily life right now?
Sounds simple, but we rarely pause to unpack these things—because we assume they’re common sense. (Spoiler: They’re not.)
Success & Happiness Right Now
One of Brandon’s biggest aha moments? Realizing that success and happiness aren’t some future “someday” thing. They can be part of your everyday.
His example? Doing something small that makes his wife happy—even if it’s not his favorite activity. "I feel successful by going with her, and it makes me happy knowing that she's enjoying herself."
The takeaway? You don’t have to sacrifice one for the other. You get to decide what balance looks like in your life.
Final Thoughts: The Journey is Messy (And That’s Okay)
Chasing perfection is a trap. Balance isn’t about having it all figured out—it’s about giving yourself permission to change, pivot, and ask for help.
Brandon reminds us that growth is bumpy. “The journey is not perfect. There are going to be bumps in the road… but knowing that it’s okay to ask for help—whether from professionals, friends, or yourself—is key.”
TL;DR: Ditch the hustle-for-happiness myth and start living—on your own terms.
Still Curious?
- Learn more about Brandon and K&B Therapy
- Connect on Instagram
- Listen to Brandon’s podcast: Evolve Your Blueprint
- Watch the full interview on YouTube
- Listen to the full interview on Spotify
